Big Catch Up Post

Oh, hey there. Long time, no see. It’s been about six months since I last published a post here. It’s no secret that I’ve felt ambivalent about blogging for a long time, and recent events have caused me to feel that even more so. It just seems like the blogging “boom” has passed, and people favor Instagram and more quickly consumable media these days. But I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed sharing. This blog has always been more like a public diary for me than anything else, and it’s nice to look back and see what I was up to at various points in my past. So here I am again. We’ll see how long it lasts.

When last I wrote, I was an injured runner. Those of you who have continued following along on Instagram know that this is still true, mostly because I got pregnant this summer before I was able to get an x-ray for diagnosis. We were trying for baby number two, but I honestly didn’t expect to be successful so quickly, and pregnancy plus unnecessary radiation is kind of a no-no. But that means I haven’t run in six months. I can’t even really go for walks without pain. I have to wear shoes constantly, or else I’m super limpy. I have some very stylish Croc sandals for “house shoes.” And I’m six months pregnant, so I’m exhausted and sore and not really working out at all. I aspire to be doing more at-home prenatal workouts, but it’s HARD to make the time and find the motivation.

So what have I been up to? I’m still home full time with Vera, which is both the hardest and best job I’ve ever had. She’s now eighteen months old and, most of the time, an absolute delight. She’s smart, outgoing, and so good-natured. We make our rounds of the local play groups and story hours, spend time with family, and do lots of reading and play at home. She sleeps through the night and takes one two-ish hour a nap per day, but it can be as little as one hour or as long as three hours depending on the day, so it can be hard to plan out my time. We also live “in the boonies,” so it can be hard to get to the bigger activities or play spaces while constrained by her current schedule, and our world can feel very small.


Other than momming, I don’t have too much going on. I recently joined the board of my favorite local community theatre group, which is cool and interesting, but really not all that time-consuming. I have a couple of meetings a month and am obligated to go see shows and support my friends (which I would do anyway). It’s good to have meetings that force me to put on pants and talk to adults, but it’s not exactly socialization. I’m still not going a great job of making time for my friendships, but I’m working on it. The whole “living in the boonies” thing really doesn’t help with maintaining friendships.

Another recent development is that I’ve deleted my Twitter account and abandoned my “fitness” IG. I realized I was spending way too much time looking at stuff that wasn’t serving me and it was actually making me feel less good about myself. I’m back on Facebook, but mostly use it as a way to find events and stay connected with people I actually care about. I still kind of hate it, but feel like it’s a necessary evil at this point in my life. Instagram is still my favorite form of social media, but even it is becoming a time suck, and I spend more time scrolling than I do posting or commenting and connecting.

I have recently become more interested than ever in the low/zero waste movement, and have been taking some steps in my own life to reduce my consumption and the amount of trash I and my family produce. It’s hard, because plastic and other trash are EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING, usually unnecessarily so. It also takes time and often costs more to switch to more sustainable products, and we have very little disposable income because Ben is the only one working. Having my sewing machine back in action has helped a lot. I’ve made my own “unpaper towels” and cloth napkins, and I’m in the process of making reusable cotton flannel facial rounds to replace cotton balls. I have a lot more I want to do, but we just don’t have the money right now.

And of course, I’m growing another human. Which takes a lot of time and energy. I haven’t been a good sleeper for a long time, but it’s compounded by pregnancy. I wake up 3-4 times a night due to my bladder, or hip pain, or who the hell knows. I often spend Vera’s naptime just sitting on my butt, knitting or reading, because that’s all I have the energy to do. I wish I could actually nap, but I’ve never been a napper. I just don’t fall asleep quickly or deeply enough to be worth it. I have plenty of projects I should be doing, like painting the new baby’s dresser, or sorting and washing baby clothes, but I just CANNOT right now. My house is semi-clean and I take a shower every day and that’s about all I can manage.

In general I feel pretty stagnant. I am in the trenches of life with small children, and while I know it’s a season of life that will someday pass, probably faster than I think, most days I feel like I’m just not contributing very much to society and have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have a lot of fitness goals that I’d still like to accomplish, but they are on hold until after pregnancy and possibly even until after I’m finished breastfeeding baby number two. Right now I’m just focused on having a somewhat healthy pregnancy and getting this baby into the world with both of us healthy. I’ll figure out the rest later.


Injured Runner Alert

Something has been up with my left heel for a while now. It first started hurting immediately after the VCM relay Memorial Day weekend, and I took a full week off to try to let it heal (no pun intended). I started running again and for a time, it didn’t hurt while I was running, only while walking around after, so I was able to convince myself that running wasn’t the problem.

In the lead up to Vera’s birthday, and then our family reunion and vacation, I took more time off running. I was busy, and my foot was still hurting, so it seemed like a good time to take a step back and hope that rest would take care of things.

As you probably saw on IG recently, three full weeks of no running later I still have foot pain. I went for a two mile test run this past Friday morning and spent the rest of the day limping. I honestly have no real idea what it could be. I don’t think it’s PF, because the pain doesn’t ease as my foot “warms up.” Maybe a stress fracture? Maybe Achilles issues? The pain sometimes radiates up the back of my leg a bit. Who knows?

I have been resistant to see a doctor up until now because when I had my last foot injury in 2014, I paid to have x-rays done and then never got any concrete diagnosis. I took six full weeks of rest and my foot was fine after that. But based on what’s going on currently, I definitely need to suck it up and go see someone. Thankfully, my GP is also a runner, so I’m hopeful that she will work with me to find some real answers this time around. I’m planning to call my doctor’s office today and hope to be seen some time this week.

In the meantime, no running, all the supportive shoes, and some low-impact strength workouts to keep me sane.

Friday Free-For-All – 06/28/19

Friday Free-For-All

Happy summer vacation to us! We just finished the first full week of Ben’s break, and we have been seriously getting after house projects. We cleaned the basement AND the garage, and finally got our garden going. Yay!

If you’re looking for some new running bottoms, check these on AmazonMy girlfriend Nikki swears by this brand, Baleaf, and got me a pair of the compression shorts for me birthday. All of their shorts, capris, and leggings have side pockets. The fit great too; no sliding down my butt or riding up my thighs. And the shorts are only $20! I can’t wait to get some leggings and capris too.

Baleaf Shorts

Photo from Amazon

I’m on a running hiatus at the moment. Remember how my left heel was hurting me after the VCM relay? I took a full week off and it seemed to be doing better, but it’s been up and down ever since. It never hurt WHILE I was running so I was reluctant to take another break, but I’m trying to be responsible and take care of myself. So no running for a week or two, and then we’ll see where I’m at. In the meantime I’m very busy with prep for Vera’s first birthday party (!!!!!), and I’m doing hip/glute exercises with my resistance bands every day, and rolling my feet and calves.

Vera’s first birthday is this coming Wednesday and I’m having ALL the feelings. It feels like this year had absolutely flown by and I can’t believe my baby is about to be a toddler. Frankly, I don’t really miss the newborn baby stage. Vera’s early infancy was very hard. Nowadays, she’s so much fun! I’m very excited to explore the toddler stage with her. I’m also very excited because both my and Ben’s entire immediate families will be in attendance–his sisters are coming in from Prague and DC, and one of my three sisters is making the trek in from Detroit (the other two live here in VT). We don’t have a theme or fancy decorations, and we’re not buying a smash cake. We’re focusing on a simple celebration with good food and plenty of adult beverages. Because honestly? The first birthday is more of a celebration for us having kept a kid alive and not killed each other for an entire year than anything else, haha!

Did you do a big, blowout party for your child’s first birthday?

A Great Race and An Injury

This past Sunday, I ran leg 5 of the Vermont City Marathon Relay. I had a pretty damn good race. I felt really good the entire time, and ran a great overall pace. I actually had to rein myself in a few times when I looked at my Garmin and saw some faster-than-was-probably-wise paces. And when I finished, I felt fired up. Excited. Ready to maybe run some goal races later this year and really see what my postpartum body is capable of. And then after I got home and got showered and started to come down off my high, my left heel started to hurt. A lot.


Since then, it has become apparent that I’ve definitely injured myself. What exactly is wrong is a mystery. I can’t tell if it’s muscular or skeletal. I’ve been massaging and rolling the crap out of my calf in case it’s some kind of muscular thing that started further up the chain, but I don’t want to risk aggravating a potential bone issue by rolling my foot too aggressively.

I’ve been obsessing over what happened. I did a lot of things “wrong” on Sunday. Was it my new shoes, which I’d only worn on one test run prior to race day? Was it standing around for several hours, waiting for my turn to run? Was it failing to cool down and stretch out after the race? Was it because I stayed in my running shoes when normally I’d switch to my Birkenstocks post-race? There’s no way to know, and wondering will only drive me crazy, but I can’t help it.

I’m just so disappointed. After Sunday’s race, I really started to feel like pre-baby me. I ran hard and fast and it felt SO GOOD. I was so excited to start really pushing myself again. And now I’m stuck on the DL.

I suppose I could go to the doctor and get my foot looked at, but honestly, I’ve been down that road before. X-rays are expensive and not always conclusive, and I have neither the time nor money to invest in that. So all I can do now is rest. Which I am not good at. Especially when the weather is so beautiful right now and all I want to do is run. Even walking hurts, which means stroller walks with Vera are out, as are a lot of lower body exercises.

I’m trying very hard not to have a pity party, but it’s hard. The fact that this injury coincides with my first real taste of running fire since before I got pregnant is tough. I’m hoping to stay active as much as I can, with yoga and core work and whatever else doesn’t hurt my foot. And also try not to drown my sorrows in poor food choices, as I am wont to do.

What’s your favorite distraction for when you can’t run?

Monday Check-In

This isn’t my normal Manic Monday training recap, because most of last week I was still sidelined with a tailbone injury. I did have a nearly miraculous improvement (which you can read about here), but I didn’t want to jump immediately back into rigorous training for fear of prolonging full recovery.

That’s not to say, however, that I was completely inactive. Although I wasn’t running, I walked a lot. I walked for nearly an hour on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday on my lunch breaks. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy just walking. It’s still pretty good exercise, but I don’t get nearly as sweaty, so it’s a lot easier to transition back to work clothes afterward.

Also, Ben and I hiked Mt. Mansfield on Saturday. This was the biggest hike I’ve attempted since we hiked Mt. Hunger two years ago, and it’s also the most vigorous activity I’ve undertaken since I fell on my tailbone. It was a pretty tough hike, but my tailbone didn’t hurt at all, so I count that as a win. And afterwards we took a dip at Jeffersonville Falls, so all in all it was a perfect VT summer day.

Now that I’m reasonably sure that my butt’s all healed up, I’ll be easing back into running this week with a few short runs, and hopefully a longish run this weekend while we’re in MA for July 4th festivities.

Did you do any hiking or swimming this weekend?

Friday Free-For-All – 06/24/16

FFFA (1)

I saw my doctor yesterday. It was my annual physical that I already had scheduled, which was a nice way to see a doctor about my tailbone without having to schedule an additional appointment and possibly pay an additional copay. I love my doc–she’s super cool, AND she’s a runner, so she gets it. We talked about what had been going on, and while she laughed a bit when I gave her my dislocation theory, she said that as long as I’m feeling ok, I can get back to running. I just need to make sure I’m healed enough that I don’t change my gait to try to avoid discomfort and potentially injure myself elsewhere. I’ll probably wait until next week to be sure I’m good to go, but this is very good news.

Ben and I are planning to hike Mt. Mansfield tomorrow. Ben has hiked Mansfield numerous times, because the trails begin practically in his parents’ backyard, but I can’t remember the last time I hiked Mansfield, if I ever did. I may have done it with my family when I was younger, but I honestly don’t know. It will be the biggest hike I’ve attempted in a couple of years, but I’m excited. It will be a good test to see if I’m ready to start running again.

I love my Gap Inc. employee discount card. In addition to getting a discount at Athleta, I also get sweet discounts at Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy. After last weekend’s clothing purge, I realized that I only had one pair of casual shorts for summer (running shorts don’t count), so I headed to Old Navy after work last night. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a lot of shorts to choose from in my style, but I got one pair of shorts, a maxi skirt, and two tops for $40. Woo!



Bodies are Weird

As you all know, I’ve had this tailbone thing going on for almost two weeks now. I fell roller skating, and it hurt. I thought maybe it was broken, or at the very least, I had a severe bone bruise. The pain was at a nearly consistent level since the fall, so it didn’t really seem to be healing super well.

Well, on Monday, I decided to go for a walk at lunch. I was tired of being cooped up inside, and figured that since walking only caused me minimal discomfort, why not give it a go? I set out with the idea of just going for my entire hour long lunch break, however far that took me. It was really nice to be moving my body, and I was enjoying the sun and trees. All of a sudden, I stubbed my foot on the curb, and I lurched forward. I managed to stay on my feet, but I felt extreme pain in my tailbone region–worse even than when I initially fell, and worse than I’d felt at any point since.

I started to panic. Oh god, now I’ve done it. Now it’s REALLY broken, and it’s going to take forever to heal. I’m gonna be in constant pain for weeks. Of course, because I was now over a mile away from work, I had no choice but to continue walking, to get back to my office. At first, the pain was bad. Every step hurt, and I cursed myself for being so stupid and trying to do too much too fast.

But here’s the crazy thing: the more I walked, the less it hurt. By the time I got back to the office, the pain in my tailbone was the lowest it had been since the initial fall. Lower than when I got up that morning. Since Monday, my improvement has been rapid. I can bend over, sit, and stand with only minimal discomfort, and walking gives me barely a twinge. I suspect that the initial fall may have dislocated my tailbone, and when I tripped and lurched, I somehow shoved it back into place. I’m no doctor, but that’s the only explanation I can think of for the sudden, acute pain, and then the almost immediate relief of symptoms.

Thankfully, I have my annual physical tomorrow, so I can talk it over with my doctor and see if I should take any additional steps for diagnosis/treatment. I’m trying not to get too excited and jump right back into training, because I definitely still have some discomfort. But right now, I feel better than I have in almost two weeks, and that’s pretty frickin’ exciting. Bodies, man. They’re so weird. I fall, I get hurt. I trip, I get better. Crazy.

Have you ever magically, accidentally, acted as your own chiropractor?

Finding the Silver Lining

So, yeah. Injured tailbone = absolutely nothing to report on. Really no training of any kind. Which means no Manic Monday training recap.

As I said in my post about injury last week, I’m choosing to look at this in the most positive light possible. Marathon training was really hard, and the marathon attempt itself was very tough both mentally and physically. I needed a break, and the universe gave me no choice but to take one. And I have to admit, not being able to work out has had some unexpected benefits.

Because I’m not training at the moment, I’ve got a lot more free time than I usually do. My new job at Athleta has helped to fill some of that time, but I’m actually enjoying my suddenly-free evenings, weekends and lunch breaks. I’ve been reading a LOT. I think I’ve finished eight books since I got hurt. I’m extremely happy about this. I’ve always been a voracious reader, but these last several months have been so busy between marathon training, Mary Poppins, and life, that I hadn’t read a book in I don’t know how long.

Another excellent thing is that Ben and I are finally keeping up with our cleaning schedule. Way back when, we planned out a schedule where we’re supposed to do different chores each day so that we don’t leave it all for the weekends and end up spending all day Saturday cleaning when we could be doing fun things. In theory, this was great, but it’s something that we hadn’t been good at keeping up with while we were both busy. Now, we just come home and do the day’s required chore right after work (or, well, after MY workday, since he’s on break). We have meal planned and grocery shopped based on the meal plan and actually followed through and cooked supper at home each night. I’ve been able to do meal prep stuff for my workday lunches, which has made a huge difference in the quality of the food I’m eating, not to mention cutting down on costs.

This weekend, I did a huge de-cluttering purge and reorganized my clothes loosely following the KonMari method. It felt AWESOME. My drawers and closet were bursting with clothes that were ill-fitting, or ripped, or stained, or that I just plain never wore, and now everything is neat and visible and I actually have room for everything. I got rid of a ton of old, unnecessary credit card statements, insurance EOB forms, and all kinds of other junk, and I love it! I’m planning to further purge our junk in the hopes that we can eliminate our storage unit some time soon and save ourselves $65 a month.

So even though I haven’t been running, I haven’t been too worried about it. And the good news is, I’m finally starting to feel a bit of improvement in the tailbone area. The pain level isn’t as high, and I’m not having to be quite as careful when moving around. I also discovered that planking somehow doesn’t hurt, so I’m trying to at least do a plank a day so I don’t totally fall off the fitness wagon. I have my annual physical on Thursday, so I plan to talk to my doctor about the tailbone issue and get some professional advice, but after more research and talking to friends who’ve had broken tailbones, I no longer think mine is broken; just badly bruised. And if that’s the case, I may be able to get back to some activity sooner rather than later, which would be nice.

Have you ever heard of the KonMari method? When’s the last time you did a big clothing purge?

Friday Free-For-All – 06/17/16

FFFA (1)

I’ve decided to get rid of my fancy gym membership. It was great while it lasted, but I haven’t been to any gym location or any classes since… March? Yeah, early March. I’m basically paying $40 a month on the off chance that I get really motivated to start going to Body Pump classes. Which I don’t foresee happening any time soon. I still want treadmill access during the winter, though, so I’ll be going back to my good old standby, Planet Fitness. It’s not great, but it’s cheap, and I can use a treadmill when I need to. Then I can use the $30 a month in savings for other things that I actually do, like my yoga passes, or spin classes.

Ben is officially on summer break. I can’t lie, I’m burning with envy. I get up in the morning to get ready for work and he’s still in dreamland. I turn out the lights at the responsible adult hour of 10:30, and he’s still up binge-watching Parks and Rec and having a beer. Being married to a teacher is tough when it comes to vacations. He’s not planning to just sit on his butt all summer, but right now, I’m super jealous of his free and easy schedule.

Not much improvement on the tailbone. The pain level has remained fairly level, and it’s now been a week since the initial fall. I’m starting to think that it might be a good idea to consult a professional just in case there’s something more going on. The good news is, I have my annual physical on Thursday, so I can discuss it with my doctor then.

Trekkie Skort - Black

I’ve already made my first Athleta purchase. I know I said I need to be strong and not spend all my extra cash on clothes, but this deal was too good to pass up. Employees receive a 70% discount on any merchandise that’s considered “damaged.” I got this Trekkie skort for $19.20 just because the drawstring was broken. It’s cute and functional and perfect for summer. #noregrets

Do you have a gym membership? Do you actually use it (unlike me)?




Accepting Injury and Moving Forward


For those of you who missed it, or are just stopping by for the first time (welcome!), I went roller skating last Thursday and had a bad fall. My tailbone is definitely badly bruised, possibly even broken. I’ve made a conscious decision not to go to a doctor for x-rays to confirm one way or the other, because regardless of the diagnosis of “bruise” vs. “break,” there’s literally nothing they can do for me. A broken tailbone is like a broken toe. You just have to give it time to heal.

As a runner, you may think there’s lots of weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth over here. To be sure, my first thought when I fell was, “Crap. Am I going to be able to run tomorrow?” But that concern quickly went by the wayside when I realized how much of an impact this was having on just my day-to-day life. Sitting at work all day hurts. Walking hurts. Standing up from sitting and sitting down from standing hurts. Sneezing hurts. Bending over or reaching for things hurts. So the concern over training has been completely pushed aside by concern over making it through each day without having to confess to everyone I interact with that I have a broken butt.

The pain level has been pretty consistent, and high, since Thursday. I did some quick internet research, and it looks like I’m in for at least four weeks of healing time, and as much as twelve weeks if I actually broke something. There is no shortcut. There is no quick-fix. All I can do is give my body time.


So last night, I made a decision: I’m going to honor my body and the fact that I’m injured and just rest for as long as I need to. No running. No yoga. No spinning. Just rest. I have accepted that this is where I’m at, and what my body needs, and I’m not freaking out (that much). Yes, I’m concerned about losing fitness. Yes, I’m concerned about weight gain. But what can I do? I don’t want to be in constant pain and afraid of moving any longer than I have to be. Which means resting, for as long as is necessary.

And if I’m going with 100% honesty here, I’m relieved. Not angry or sad that I can’t run; just relieved. This totally takes the pressure off. I was feeling incredibly burned out by the end of marathon training, and then to have such a disappointing end to what was supposed to be my first marathon after such a difficult training cycle really took it out of me. I was feeling a lot of pressure (from myself, not from my friends or family) to get right back at it, come up with a plan, pick a new marathon, and go, go, go, train, train, train! Now, I can just focus on healing. I can spend time with my family and friends. I can do the million projects around our apartment that I’ve been putting off because training has kept me so busy. I can focus on life instead of training.

I’m sure at some point in the next couple of weeks I’ll feel some anger, sadness, or frustration over missing out on weeks of training, but right now, I feel at peace.

As a runner, do you ever find you’re able to make peace with an injury, or do you tend to get angry and sad?